J.B. Wolf


Who Am I Going to Vote For?

Who am I going to vote for in the 2016 elections? I suppose I'll continue voting for some clown in a suit... just like you. I mean, are there any other choices?

Well... maybe there is. Back in high school, I was hanging out with my usual group of friends and we decided to hold elections for various positions within the group. My friend's house had two cats and I ran for "cat catcher". It was a meaningless position that wouldn't ruin any political career should I eventually choose to run for a real office one day. At the last moment, since no one was running against me, someone else nominated a loose brick near the fireplace. What's sad is that I nearly lost to the brick. It was very close.

I'd like to take a moment to sarcastically thank all of my high school friends who continue to give me the same level of support just like they did when they voted for the brick. You know who you are. (Hmmm... Now that I think about it, my current friends treat me the same way. I think there's a trend here...)

Who will I vote for in 2016? At the time I wrote this, I don't even know who the candidates are, but I know I'll be voting for a brick. A brick will be way more intelligent than any candidate in 2016.